I walked into a Carter’s today to shop for my friend’s 4-month old baby. I managed to find a couple of things and well, that was that. But after leaving the store, I wanted to weep. I wanted to just stop and cry. I hadn’t gone into a store to buy something for a baby in a long time. Seeing the toys and the baby clothes must have brought back a flood of memories. And deep down, in that moment, I just wanted to go back to the days when my sons were babies too.
Why? Maybe because I knew I could never have that time back. That my children don’t need me like they used to. I definitely don’t miss a lot of the day-to-day things like diaper changes and spit-up. But sometimes in the fray of parenting, we tend to lose sight of the bigger picture.
My youngest turned 8 last month. And something about this birthday has caused me to feel a lot of sadness. I wanted to go back to a time when my sons were toddlers. We still do a lot of the same activities now. We go on walks together. We read together. We watch movies together.
But the times when they were younger somehow felt sweeter. Maybe it is because they were more care-free and innocent. And they were a lot cuter back then.
Or maybe they don’t want to hang out with us parents as much and we somehow feel saddened by that reality.
The days are long but the years are short.
It is inevitable to feel regret when you become a parent. There are so many days when we feel like we could have been better. In the generation of smart phones, looking at old photos and videos is an easy way to reminisce. But then I remind myself – I still have to be a parent to these children. There are still a lot of years left and we have to appreciate the next moments as well.
